Aw, Vacation is over..

I'm so moving to VA as soon as freakin' possible.

You'd think that after a friend has moved away, after a while, you grow used to the fact that they're not here anymore, but I miss Nicole just as I always have. Even if it was just that, I would move out there. So, now that I have really grown attached to Joey, I really really want to move out there.

We went to the beach last weekend. Joey and David (mostly Joey) put in for a spiffy hotel that was on the beach front. We just did stuff. It was awesome. Lots of walking. Nicole and Julian was supposed to go, but Julian ended up having to stay behind, which sucked for Nicole. I didn't help matters either...I'm such a bitch. Anyway, David and his girlfriend were also there, and they invited two of their friends, and Liam met up with us. Miss hanging out with Liam. He's diferent, but still Liam.
It was hilarious. Everytime he came across a hot chick he would stop to flirt like mad. Highly entertaining.

Other than the beach we did lots of shopping, hanging out, watching movies, and Joey took me to Kings Dominion, which is a amusement park near ish them. I like roller coasters. =D.

So tired! And slightly sore, which is kinda cool. I lost 5 whole pounds. Whoopdee-freakin-do. I guess it's better than nothing though. I'm thinkin' I might go to the apartment tonight, wake up in the morning, maybe do a load of laundry and check out the gym while I'm at it. Or go swimming.

So, I made a big decision. Was it a good one? I hope to god so. Why am I so fucked up? Why can't I be somewhat normal? Why can't my life be somewhat normal? And really, after all that, what do I really have to offer to a relationship? Especially one thats long distance. Will it be better that it's long distance? He wont have to deal with my crap as much? I wont bore him to tears because I would hardly ever see him...But the whole not being able to see him really sucks, because he's so frickin' hot. Damn! And I already miss his hugs, or just him being next to me. I don't remember ever having that with Brett...And I'm so afraid I will fuck up this as well. I think I would just shoot myself if I did and lost him completely, just like I did Brett. I got over losing Brett. I wont forgive myself if I screwed up so horribly with Joey. I totally don't feel equiped for this, but I figure I grab on with both hands or lose it anyway. So here goes.

I need to figure out what my class schedule is like. Next time I get an entire week off, I'm going to try to fly up there. Or something. Probably wont happen until the end of the semester. I wanna fly out there for Nicole's birthday! Damn! Maybe, I can finagle some time away. Ho-hum.

Which leads me to my new job working with Jonathan. I need to find his number and let him know I'm back in town and that I will be stopping by Independent Living Resource Center Monday after class. I'm hoping that will bring in money. Oh! And I'm looking at new cars. Need to call tomorrow morning and see about looking at them. Whoo!

Must go now. Tootles!

Success!

So, I was finally able tode-stress. I was made suddenly aware of this when my mother called and I didn't go into an instand anxiety attack.
I am tired, slightly sunburned and also majorly sore, but all is well with the world, and I feel as if I can at least handle whatever else life has to throw at me with a somewhat larger degree with logic, rational thought, and over all good cheer.

My vacation to VA has been spectacular. It's so weird that I feel completely at home somewhere so far removed in both location, and in likeliness of my real home. I've had a chance to spend time with both Nicole and Joey, and have loved every minute of it. I'm going to miss them deeply when I eventually have to go home, but at the same time, I feel ok about going back home. Or at least more than when I got here. There's still an entire load of stuff that I will need to shoulder as soon as I get home, but I feel confident now that it's not a prison, and that I can just say hey, I need to leave, but I will come back, and it will be handled. It's a great feeling.

I'm going to have to devote more time to this later, because right now I'm about to fall into a sleep deprivation induced coma that I need to come out of way too early in the morning.

For now, I'm totally content